My boys went to their dads last night for a couple of nights. I find that when they are gone I usually pack my to do list full. This is for a few reasons. Firstly it is much quicker to get things done when it is just me, secondly the house is quiet and empty without two boisterous boys running around, and finally I hate feeling that I have wasted my time alone when it gets to the end of the weekend.
Sometimes being on my own is very lonely and other days it is about being alone and enjoying my space and my time. I have learnt that there is a big difference between alone and loneliness over the last few months.
So today was another jam-packed day and this one especially so as it is my youngest’s birthday on Monday. Tomorrow night he is having some friends for a sleepover so while I was very busy preparing for his party I was also conscious of enjoying some peace before the craziness of 6 and 7-year-old boys.
So in the business of the day I try to add some elements that are for me and often it is the simple things that are hard to enjoy when busy being a Mum. Today’s simple elements of the day that made me pause and appreciate the day were:
- Making avocado and poached eggs on toast for breakfast and sitting down for a while to enjoy it with a cup of tea.
- Playing music that was all my choice and singing along.
- Sitting down with dinner and a glass of wine to watch something on Netflix.
So in the middle of a crazy weekend I found time to enjoy the peace. lets call it the calm before the storm.
Those who read my last post would now that after I had some surgery done my parents had come to stay to help me out for a few weeks as I was very limited in what I could do. And that my children were struggling a bit with the change of routine.
Today after three and a half weeks my parents have gone home. I have greatly appreciated the help they have provided as well as enjoying the break from being the only cook in the house. However today as I worked from home in a silent house I realised how quickly I have adapted to being the only adult in the house. To being able to set things up how I want them, run the house in the way that works for me and my boys, and not be judged for my crazy OCD like moments. My mum was shocked that all of my pegs are one colour and that my ensuite vanity is always set up with everything in exactly the same place. Surely I am not the only one with odd quirks!! Thank goodness I didn’t mention I need the TV volume to be on an even number.
I have been separated for two years next month and while it was strange at first after being married for 12 and a half years I have very quickly adapted to being on my own. We have set routines that work for the three of us, our life is crazy and busy but we all get each other. We drive each other nuts one moment, and the next minute are having a dance party in the kitchen. And most importantly have a house full of cuddles, laughter, fun and forgiveness.
So this morning when I got home from dropping the boys off at school I made a cup of tea and took ten minutes to sit in silence on my own for the first time in weeks before starting work.
And how did the boys and I spend our first night back to just the three of us? Eating bowls of pasta in the lounge room while we watched TV before reading books together in our pajamas – Perfect!!